Why?

     I love Facebook, I really do.......but only so far.  Unlike most of my "friends", I have not friended 5389 strangers and "liked" 3893 pages which will take a year each day to try and keep up with.  Nope, I am somewhat selective in who I allow onto the hallowed page of my "Pendragon" site.  I also keep this FB page separate from my "Family" FB account.  Believe me, you don't want to know this family and I don't really want to share with them the things I post here.  I'm estranged enough as it is, I don't need to let a little hard-core honesty TOTALLY burn my remaining bridges; that's just a bridge to far.  I mean, I love these people, but they try me as a group.  Except for one lone cousin whom I will describe as "special", I am the only pagan out of more than 20 odd cousins.  Most of them are fundamentalist Catholics or an odd variety of other protestant religions, each one more narrow and exclusive than the next.  It's a wonder half these people will even admit to being related to the other.
     As for my "secular" FB page, I have friended people I have met blogging, people I know at work, and people who I have connected with via other friends.  Sometimes one particular blogger/FB acquaintance can be a magnet for other people whom I would dearly love to meet.  Some of my best friends, as sad as this sounds, are friends of other friends who knew someone who commented on a blog of a blogger who followed my blog.  Now, here we have to qualify exactly what I mean by "friends", because, like I said, I tend to be much more selective than most appear to be.  I have even gone so far as to "de-friend" those who on first blush APPEARED to be sane but since went off the deep end as far as belief systems go, religious, political or otherwise.  I can only stand so much bullshit, even from my own family.  Which brings me back to them.
     I had issues awhile back, during a period when I was sick, depressed, injured, and all-around not a nice person to be around.  During that time I decided I didn't need the fury and irritation that some of what my family posted on the "family FB" could bring out in me, only adding to my already on-the-edge angst.  You see, even though many in my family don't understand that it's NOT all about them, that their opinions and pronouncements can be extremely disrespectful to others who don't share their philosophy, it doesn't stop them from going out of their way to post something that all told should best be kept to themselves or shared with family and friends in a less confrontational manner.  Me, even though I am Pagan and am diametrically opposed to most of their belief systems and how they share them, I myself have bit my tongue and have not stirred the pot, believing that family is supposed to be more important than always being right about things that might only be right for the individual and not everybody else.  So, in the grips of my depression, I got rid of the family FB account altogether and then started from scratch, re-friending only a select few I figured I could stomach more than the others simply to remain connected in case another one of us toppled over dead and we had another funeral to attend (which is what actually brought us altogether on one FB page to begin with).
     In the interim, I have had one after another of the cousins send me new friend requests, most of which I have not responded to.  I haven't because then I would be right back where I started and I don't want to go there, not while these people I love so much are so busy being so righteous.  But what I am REALLY tempted to do is write them back and ask one simple question in regards to friending them......WHY?  Yea, I know, I can imagine how taken aback they would be, and I imagine the best reaction I could expect from THAT is perhaps a nice, heated little "well, the HELL with YOU" in response.  Well, you see, I know how it sounds but I think it's an honest question when you consider that none of these cousins, while I WAS connected to them, ever addressed me directly and asked a simple little question like "how are you doing", or even "have a nice day".  Nope, all they ever brought to the party was how glorious their Lord and Savior was, and that if I wasn't too "ashamed" to, I should repost that fact on my own page.  Really?  Sure, I'll get right with that.......sheesh!
     Make no mistake, these are otherwise very nice people, people I still love regardless, but if it's really important to them to make a connection with me as a cousin and not simply another tea-party clone, then yes, the question really IS relevant....Why?
     I admit, MOST people I have friended on my Pendragon site either pretty much share my political and/or spiritual sensibilities or they have the respect not to harp about them to the detriment of our "friendship".  I can sit down and have a beer with  ANYBODY so long as that person respects me as a valued human being who has their own closely held beliefs, and I can be more than happy to return the favor.  Discussion is all-American; flat out judgement and condemnation of others you don't even know is NOT.
     So, my new "Family" FB will remain a much quieter place than it used to be.  I've decided to simply check on it regularly without comment just to keep tabs; I don't have the inclination to start any wars.  They can pretty much do that better than I can.
     As for the rest of you back here face-booking with "Alex"?  Think of yourselves as belonging to a VERY exclusive club.  I know I experience every day why the relative few of you belong on MY page.  You are very good people.  I am privileged to have met you!   Blessed be you all!